Several more years have passed once again since my last post to this blog! Tyler has since been medically retired from the army and we've moved back to Utah, two this I wasn't entirely thrilled about. At least tyler's happier about this.
Right now he's in between jobs, we just moved from a dark basement appt in this amazing church Ward to a duplex that's within the borders of this still same amazing church Ward.
My health is ever always in question, but at least there haven't been any new recently diagnosed issues, hospitalizations or surgeries! At least for me anyway.
Lacie's been through a lot in the last few years, though.
She had an emergency appendectomy in January 2013 or 2014, then she had both femur get some seriously major surgery work done on them by Dr Aoki up at Primary Children's Medical Center. She also just started 7th grade in Jr High today! She's growing up sooo quickly!!
Sophie is in 4th grade at a great charter school, and Liam is in an excellent Early Intervention preschool close by as well. They're all doing pretty good.
So, around the same time that we're moving I find out that I'm expecting baby #4!!!! I seriously cannot believe this!!
I'm scared out of my freaking mind for my health, body and life, and that for the baby's, but I'm also excited to be able to have another baby!
I'm praying pretty hard, though, that things go well and normally this go around! 😥
I need all the prayers that I can get!
Anyway, finances are not good at all, Tyler keeps losing jobs, and we're now in marital counseling. Needless to say that a lot of very bad advice dished out has cost us a lot of pain and unnecessary difficulties. It's very hard to stay married these days when the world, and most people, encourage divorce when there are health problems, etc. It's been heart breaking for me to realize the shallowness of many, and that a person's worth is based solely and entirely on what they can physically do, and nothing more. I'm pretty sure that most who are like this don't even realize they are this way. After all, it's easy to judge and point fingers, complain and dwell on the negative for most people.
Okay, enough about that.
I'm feeling scared and alone, worried and stressed out these days and hope is slowly draining away for me these days.
I pray I can hang on longer and tighter and that something gives! We need the blessings!
Thursday, August 25, 2016
Friday, February 15, 2013
It's been such a long, long, LONG time since I've updated my blog! It was crying and begging for my attention, so I caved and came to take a look at it and decided to take a little time and write a few updates for y'all!
So, I've had another baby!!! It's a miracle, literally!!
After trying everything we could affordably do, including some fertility treatments, we just could not have another baby. It was discouraging, disappointing, but, we also trusted in The Lord and we know for certain that as long as we're doing what's right, and following God's direction, then everything happens the way it's supposed to and The Lord will guide us on the path we're supposed to be walking. So we knew if we'd have another baby that it would be in His timing, not our own, and that it would be in His manner and way, if it even happens at all. I am also very grateful for the two girls I have, recognizing they they, too, are miracles in and of themselves! I almost lost all three children before they were born with multiple complications, so if I could never have had another child of my own, I was ready to accept that and change my attitude to be one of satisfaction and peace for having just two children even though we had originally wanted 4 to 6 children.
So, after Tyler came back from his 18 month forever Army training and serving in S. Korea, we were both extremely surprised and shocked that I got pregnant right off the bat! I mean gosh, my little boy wasted no time in making sure he was getting here!
Tyler got home August 30th, 2011, and Liam Tyler Frampton was born on April 30th 2012! He was born 5 weeks premature and was in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit for several weeks. He was a very sick baby boy. His lungs and heart weren't developed all the way and he couldn't eat on his own being so tired, sick, and weak, so he had a feeding tube the entire time.
It was one of the most difficult things we've both, (Tyler and I), ever been through! Our baby boy who is pleasant, happy, and energetic by nature, was suffering, and it tore us up inside to watch this first-hand.
I will share my entire labor and birthing story later, because it was a very traumatic, crazy, scary, and almost life-taking experience that really should be shared, but I do need to cut this short.
Liam is 9 1/2 months old now (OH MY GOSH!!!) and Lacie is now 9 and Sophie will be turning 7 in two weeks!! This is just insane that our children are this old already and growing up so stinkin darn fast!!!
We are living on an Army base that's on the border of Tennessee and Kentucky and have mixed feelings about this area haha. The base seems to be pretty boring and dull. Every time I'm out and about all I can do is dream up ways of fixing up the place, upgrading, redesigning, and refabbing everything! It needs COLOR and STYLE and some excitement and beauty around here like something fierce!!
Just around the base it's pretty ghetto. I wouldn't EVER be caught walking around out there at night, or even during the day, all alone. No way! There are robberies and murders, rapes, shooting-outs, all that stuff plus drugs and lots of accidents and deaths caused by DUI morons, not to mention the nudie bars and under-age drinking, etc., etc. It's just gross and crazy-scary and dangerous, SO, we like to venture out further like to Clarksville, TN and Nashville, TN.
There is a lot of beauty around here if you drive a little further out from the base in any direction. A lot of Amish, Menonite, and Shaker's live out here, too.
Lately Ty and I have been having a lot of fun Picking antiques and what-nots, visiting antique stores and second-hand stores, refabbing up our finds, turning them around, and selling them.
Tyler's still a cook in the Army and he's been going to school full-time and not working, which has been really nice :).
Now back to taking care of my cute, big baby boy, Liam, and getting the girls ready for a sleep-over. :)
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
I now have such a personal respect for this poem and I thank Michael Marks for writing it and sharing it with all of us.
Please think about our family and other soldier's families during this Christmas season who do not have the taken-for-granted blessing of being together during such a special time of year:
I was thinking about our servicemen overseas this Holiday Season and wrote the following in hope of bringing a small bit of Christmas cheer to active duty and veterans alike ... just a humble thanks and "God Bless." Please feel free to pass it along or post it as you see fit. Thank you. Happy Holidays, Michael Marks ***************************************************************************************** A Soldier's Christmas By Michael Marks The embers glowed softly, and in their dim light, I gazed round the room and I cherished the sight; My wife was asleep, her head on my chest, My daughter beside me, angelic in rest. Outside the snow fell, a blanket of white, Transforming the yard to a winter delight; The sparkling lights in the tree, I believe, Completed the magic that was Christmas Eve. My eyelids were heavy, my breathing was deep, Secure and surrounded by love I would sleep In perfect contentment or so it would seem, So I slumbered, perhaps I started to dream. The sound wasn't loud, and it wasn't too near, But I opened my eye when it tickled my ear; Perhaps just a cough, I didn't quite know, Then the sure sound of footsteps outside in the snow. My soul gave a tremble, I struggled to hear, And I crept to the door just to see who was near; Standing out in the cold and the dark of the night, A lone figure stood, his face weary and tight. A soldier, I puzzled, some twenty years old, Perhaps a Marine, huddled here in the cold; Alone in the dark, he looked up and smiled, Standing watch over me, and my wife and my child. "What are you doing?" I asked without fear, "Come in this moment, it's freezing out here! Put down your pack, brush the snow from your sleeve, You should be at home on a cold Christmas Eve!" For barely a moment I saw his eyes shift Away from the cold and the snow blown in drifts To the window that danced with a warm fire's light, Then he sighed and he said "It's really all right, I'm out here by choice. I'm here every night. "It's my duty to stand at the front of the line That separates you from the darkest of times; No one had to ask or beg or implore me, I'm proud to stand here like my fathers before me. "My Gramps died at 'Pearl' on a day in December," Then he sighed, "That's a Christmas 'Gram' always remembers; My dad stood his watch in the jungles of 'Nam, And now it is my turn and so, here I am. "I've not seen my own son in more than a while, But my wife sends me pictures, he's sure got her smile;" Then he bent and he carefully pulled from his bag, The red white and blue ... an American flag. "I can live through the cold and the being alone Away from my family, my house and my home; I can stand at my post through the rain and the sleet, I can sleep in a foxhole with little to eat. "I can carry the weight of killing another Or lay down my life with my sisters and brothers Who stand at the front against any and all, To insure for all time that this flag will not fall. "So go back inside," he said, "harbor no fright, Your family is waiting and I'll be all right." "But isn't there something I can do, at the least Give you money," I asked, "or prepare you a feast? It seems all too little for all that you've done, For being away from your wife and your son." Then his eye welled a tear that held no regret, "Just tell us you love us, and never forget To fight for our rights back at home while we're gone, To stand your own watch, no matter how long. "For when we come home, either standing or dead, To know you remember we fought and we bled Is payment enough, and with that we will trust That we mattered to you as you mattered to us." Michael Marks December 7th, 2000 ************************************************************************ In loving appreciation of the countless Americans who have and continued to serve in the Armed Forces and those who gave their lives for their country. Your sacrifices will never be forgotten. We look forward to the day you come home. God bless and keep you always, and God Bless America. Michael
Friday, October 22, 2010
Lots has been happening around here and most of it has been excruciatingly stressful for me, and my girls, and my family that I'm living with.
I have been deeply and painfully hurt more than I can ever think of before in my life just in the last day and I don't see any efforts in this being rectified. I just wish SO MUCH that Latter Day Saints would truly try to be beings of true Integrity, Loyalty, and strictly keep the sacred covenants they've made in holy Temples with God.
People who choose to rationalize their behavior cause so much hurt and pain for others, especially those closest to them, and they don't see the hurt hearts of their loved ones as the real issue but that the hurt loved ones must be out of line to feel that way.
Anyway, that's all I'll say about that. I just have been thinking a LOT lately about Integrity, Honesty, and Obedience.
I've been looking for every opportunity to teach my little girls these most important and essential virtues. I enjoy teaching my girls, and I always feel directed by the Holy Ghost when doing so, and I know just what to say. It's the most amazing feeling.
Reminds me of when I was serving a full-time mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints to the people of Buenos Aires Argentina. I love teaching the Truth and WITH THE SPIRIT.
Last week I had surgery. It was highly recommended by two of my doctors so I finally had it done. The pain I experience daily is more than one can bear without help from outside sources (such as a pill or two, or three). I know that I complain a lot, and I know I seem pathetic to many, but the fact is people don't REALLY CARE what you're experiencing and going through unless they've been there before and understand exactly what it's like or they're currently going through the same things right now.
I am finding so many good friends online that understand and support me and it's been a huge blessing!
Other Army Wives and other women who suffer from Interstitial Cystitis have become a HUGE strength to me! And a vast resource of information as well. It's been wonderful and I don't feel as alone as I could be.
The surgery went well. When I was coming to from the anesthesia I remember dreaming that Tyler wasn't there and I was frantic for him to be there. I was so distraught over his absence that I did not realize that I was thrashing around and they had to hold me down. How embarrassing is that? I've NEVER woken from anesthesia in such a horrible state!
So I bruised my knee and tore my stitches a little, making them bleed, and only causing myself further pain. I guess I wasn't breathing at all because I vaguely remember them making me use an inhaler a couple of times and them giving me more meds and yada yada.
Then my mom came in and I was totally groggy. In and out. I remember them saying every time I fell asleep I'd completely stop breathing. It's funny cuz I always warn the nurses that I have Sleep Apnea and they assume that keeping me propped up with help. lol. NOPE. I don't have the obstruction type that most people have (cuz they're fat or they have tiny air passages or enlarged adnoids, etc), but cuz my brain does not send the signal for me to breath. It sucks royally. I will never sleep well, or at all, without a CPAP machine or oxygen. Kinda a bummer huh? lol oh well!!
Then I was super pleasantly surprised that my best friend Kristen showed up!! I had hoped she would be able to but wasn't counting on it since she's such a super busy lady working so much and taking care of her kiddos, but she came!!! It was SO NICE seeing her and she immediately cheered me up!! I was so grateful that two of the most important people in my life were there with me. I felt safe and comforted and finally could calm down enough that they could release me.
Well, since the surgery my pain has only worsened. Honestly it's MUCH worse than I even let off it to be. I feel so awful that I'm not up and about and helping do anything. I do feel I'm doing well with the girls considering my state, but I wish I could do better. I'm especially distraught, still, over my husband not being home with me.
Anyway, I've had a fever for 5 days now since I've been checking and my abdomen swelling won't go away. I've lost a couple pounds, too. It's hard to eat because it hurts and I get nauseated easily.
So the doc had me come in a week early to check me out. He said to just keep an eye on myself to make sure the pain doesn't get worse or doesn't get better at all and if my fever stays or gets higher that it's a possibility that I have a little internal bleeding going on. Wonderful huh? lol.
Now on another interesting and sad note for me, my brother, Erik, is leaving for the Army in 3 days!!!!! I'm going to miss him terribly! I'm sad I probably won't see him again for YEARS. He's going to training. Okay he'll be back for Christmas that lucky dog since my husband isn't allowed the same privileges (nor do we have the money for it even if he COULD come home) so I will see him again for a couple of days at least.
He's doing infantry, the crazy man. hahaha. But I'm sure he'll do so great and that he'll love it! Erik's such a stud! But I'm very sad he's leaving.
Lacie is having a hard time with kids in school. The boys around here seem to be a little perverted or something. They relentlessly tease Lacie trying to kiss her or pretending to kiss her, trying to look up her shirt, spanking her bottom, throwing things at her, and calling her names. I don't want to tell her that boys do that if they like you because I don't think it's fair for her to accept this mean trait from boys and be okay with a jerk later on in life thinking "it's cuz he loves me that he's such a jerk". Nope. So I tell her to ignore them, walk away, tell them to grow up, and to go tell her teacher right away. At any rate I keep her teacher well informed of the happenings at her school.
Sophie has bad dreams still and asks me sometimes if her daddy is dead. It's awful! Even though she sees him sometimes on the internet talking to her, she still fears this. She's becoming more used to him being gone now, which is good, but she's still very clingy and emotional.
Both my girls are emotional.
And suffering from depression that I'm not quite sure how to combat at this time. Especially since I can't drive and hardly walk or play or do anything.
I do read to them a lot and encourage their cute picture drawing and have them in dance class and hopefully starting music classes soon.
So I'm doing the best I can with what I've got.
I'm still living at my parents home and they're pretty much all that I have family-wise that's been supportive to me and my girls.
My ward has been WONDERFUL, too! They've taken the girls so much to help and it's so wonderful and the girls love it and need it!
So there's the update for you.
NO we don't know if we're going to Korea yet. Apparently we were misinformed of being approved to go over there. WE HAVE NOT. It's NOT been approved and they're not any where near approving it either. So we're just sitting here frustrated beyond words and Tyler's lonely without us and depressed and everything else. I pray he clings to the Church and it's members while there. They'll be a huge support and blessing in his life.
Please pray for us. We need the prayers again, very desperately.
I cannot divulge everything on here, but I shared quite a bit already and try as I may to be positive and count my blessings every single day, life pretty much is the pits right now.
Thanks for reading another novel by me, if you read it.
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Right now things are very, very hard. I'm trying my best to be happy for the girls and Tyler and myself and others, and I know I greatly fall short of this, but I am doing my best and with the Lord's help I'm doing even better than I thought possible for myself.
Yesterday, after a bit of bad news here and there, I was home alone (for once lol) and felt it safe to let my emotions out for a few minutes and allowed myself to cry. Or better yet, the tears just came and I didn't have to worry about hiding them like usual.
So I bawled my eyes out and was feeling very weak (as some people have called me) and pathetic and just a little hopeless and started praying to help me feel strengthened somehow and to please bless me with any good news for a change or something to keep me going. I prayed to know if Heavenly Father was hearing me, was aware of what we are going through, and if I'm all alone or have support.
I went back out to my car where groceries were waiting in the trunk to be taken out and as I opened the trunk a car pulled up behind me. I turned and two members of my bishopric came out of the car.
I assumed they were looking for my parents, obviously, since this is their home, and felt really embarrassed that they caught me crying like an idiot. I told them nobody was home and where my dad was (at the church at the time, with my girls), and they said "we're here to see you".
They said they'd felt impressed to visit me.
They asked me how I was doing and I was actually kinda shocked at first and didn't really know what to say. Then I started to tell them a little bit about what was going on. They offered to help me with anything I needed. So I finally gave in and let them help me bring my groceries in, which was wonderful since the amount of pain I was in was a lot, and then my brother Josh showed up so we weren't alone in the house. It was so perfect. They asked what else they could do for me and I felt prompted to ask for a blessing. I received a blessing and a feeling of love enveloped me by the Lord. I felt comforted, loved, protected, understood, sheltered, and uplifted.
My testimony was strengthened last night as a result of this. I was feeling so sad and was asking Heavenly Father for anything, really, and he sent two angels to me right in the moment that I needed them most! He answered my prayer the instant I asked, and blessed me greatly!
I felt his love and I can tell you it was similar to what Alma the Younger said in the Book of Mormon in Alma 36:21: "Yea, I say unto you, my son, that there could be nothing so exquisite and so bitter as were my pains. Yea, and again I say unto you, my son, that on the other hand, there can be nothing so exquisite and sweet as was my joy."
Maybe my experience wasn't as grand, huge, and miraculous as Alma the Younger's was, but this is how I felt, or something very similar to it, and I know it was from my loving Heavenly Father.
God does love us. He is aware of what we are going through and what our needs are. He understands us. And, above all else, He is listening.
He heard my prayers and answered them, strengthening me, lifting me, and enveloping me with the compassion, love, and sympathy I so needed and only He can understand that I need, and needed, so much.
Thank you for blessing me with the Gift of the Holy Ghost and for my membership in God's Church where the Priesthood is real and alive and true.
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
She's in First Grade now and I cannot believe it! It's like it never quite sinks in how old my Lacie is getting. She's in school all day long now and I sure do miss her. But it's also nice cuz it gives me a little break to get a little more done during the day.
I was going to sign Sophie up for preschool but I just couldn't swallow paying so much money just to send her away and have someone else do for her what I should be doing, ya know? Maybe when she's Lacie's age she'll go to school, but for now she's happy being home with mommy and grandma.
I did sign the girls up for their very first dance class!!!! I'm SO excited! I've wanted to do this since I first found out I was having a girl. Seriously! This class teaches mostly Jazz but also a little Tumbling and Ballet and also Voice! I'm THRILLED. I've been looking for singing lessons/classes for my girls everywhere! They only go once a week, but that's plenty for now :). Next I need to figure out swimming lessons lol.
We've been LOVING having Skype!! Holy cow it's such a wonderful blessing having such advanced technology! If it wasn't for Skype we'd never get to talk and I don't even have an address to write to him so we'd have NO communication at all going on right now. So I'm SUPER grateful for Skype right now!
Of course Tyler's hours are 15 ahead of us, so trying to find a convenient time to talk to him is very, very difficult! He's asleep when I'm up and we're sleeping when he's up, or he's gone in his boring briefings for Inprocessing required by the Army during the day. *sigh*. And life goes on, right?
Once again our effort at trying to get pregnant has failed. I guess the Lord doesn't want to send more of His children down yet. It's not the right time, or place, either. But who knows, maybe there's a child waiting for adoption somewhere eh? That would be cool!
The paperwork and extra work I have to do now is just piling up and it's an enormous amount. It's so huge that it's intimidating me so it's been a little difficult to completely delve into it. My brain just can't concentrate like it used to and right now I've been mostly thinking about us going to Korea to join Tyler there. It's kinda consumed me, but I gotta just relax and completely trust in the Lord, ya know? Yeah, there might be evil men that do things to keep us from going over there, that's their choice and God can't force anybody, but for now I KNOW it's right for us to join him, it's just a matter of being patient and having faith and hope, and pulling the right strings.
Tyler's really anxious to get with his Unit and meet his Sponsor. I really hope things go smoothly for him there. So far they have, so that's a good sign. He was SO stressed about it all working out but now it seems to be so he can relax a little.
So life won't stop moving along even though things aren't exactly where we want them, and our kids keep growing up even though we don't want them to, not yet anyway. I wish I had more time with them while they're little. Before we know it they're grown and I wonder if we've taught them well enough, after all, it's a HUGE responsibility to teach our children the way they should go and how they should believe and hopefully they'll choose the right thanks to our teachings and examples. I do worry about this enough to remember to teach my children the Gospel and read the Scriptures to them and pray with them daily and take them to Church and sing Primary songs with them and more.
Okay enough rambling. This is longer than I meant it to be. As usual. :)
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
I talked to him a few minutes here and a few minutes there in between his flights. Poor guy was completely and entirely exhausted! He's in the air right now, on Delta, not even half-way to Korea yet.
I feel like doing NOTHING today. Funny huh?
My girls and I have been lounging around the house. Me in my PJ's and yes, I did get them dressed and fed, watching TV and wasting time on the good ol' PC.
I go between bouts of crying and just being numb so far.
I cannot wait to hear from him! I'm so anxious to find out what he finds out about our Command Sponsorship and Housing and a phone and Skype and all that other stuff to keep us connected. I also wonder where on earth he's going to be living!
The saying-goodbye thing is over, thank goodness, but it was so incredibly hard!
I bawled my eyes out and so did Lacie. She and I both cried all the way home. My poor brother Josh had to listen to it all, but I was glad he was there so I wasn't alone. I hate being alone, ya know? Just the way I am I guess, although I do like my time alone, too. Hmmm.
Anyway, Josh and Andrea got some good pics of us at the airport. I wonder if I'll ever be able to figure out how to get pictures on here like everyone does. lol. I'm just not that good at technology.
So there's a little update for now. I hope that things work out for us to be together soon! I hope I can talk to him soon, too! He'll be landing in Seoul Korea at 5:30am our time and 4:30pm his time on Wednesday. Craziness!!!
Wish us luck! As usual :)
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Okay now that I got that out I can go on :)
Our trip home from Virginia was not without a few bumps and adventures on the way. It took us 4 days to get home. That's what happens when you have Buddy Passes. They're so unreliable. But on top of those nasty things, the Army messed up with Tyler's paperwork so made us stay a day over. Civvies who do the paperwork don't ever go above and beyond nor do they act like they care that they're messing around with people's LIVES and families here. So it cost us SO much money. We had to change flights, add hotels and car rental days, food, gas, etc. It was horrible on our wallet and our psyches, but it was good, so good, to be together for those days. I just feel bad that it robbed our children of those days with their father. But I suppose everything happens for a reason.
We had many wonderful people step up and offer to help us find a way home. It was a miracle how things worked out. My mom got busy notifying her many email groups of our situation and many, many people jumped to our aid!! We're eternally grateful to these people who helped! Tyler's sister helped fly us home, too, when our Buddy Passes didn't work.
We went from Virginia to Boston, Boston to Las Vegas, Las Vegas to Salt Lake City. We stayed in Boston for a whole day and night and WOW it was an amazing place! We were right down-town historical Boston. We stayed at the oldest running hotel in the country and it was surreal for us. Cost us a pretty penny, though, but we had no other choice unless we wanted to sleep on the dirty streets and possibly get mugged lol. We also got to stay the night in Vegas at a member's home. They fed us and took such good care of us! Like a 5-star hotel!! They wanted to pay our way home but Tyler's sister beat them to it. They were such a wonderful couple!
Since we've been home, we've been able to do a lot of things together as a family. We've seen some movies, gone to Trafalga for bumper cars, carnival rides, XD theatre, arcade games, and more. It was a blast! We also got to go to Utah's Hogle Zoo. That was so fun! The girls had so much fun there! And best of all we've been to the Temple several times to help do one of my best friend's family Temple work. It was AMAZING and truly the work of God.
Besides having to deal with unecessary and exaggerated drama, things were really, really good! And it went by too fast. Of course.
Tyler leaves today for South Korea. We are not happy. We are dreading the likelihood that our family will be split apart for TWO YEARS!!!!!!
There are many who are trying to stay positive for us, which we appreciate, but I think we deserve to cry about it, too. It's all very hard and discouraging. It's almost too much to bear.
Tonight so far we've been crying. There's no party going on over here! Just heartache, despair, sorrow, fear, hope, sadness, anger, confusion, humbleness, prayers, and more.
The girls beg Tyler to stay home.
I cannot believe he's leaving already, and for so very long!
You know, it's one thing to have a family member or close friend go away for a while, but when it's YOUR SPOUSE it's waaaaay different. We're used to sleeping in bed next to each other, our intimacy, being best friends, doing everything together, and experiencing everything in life together. Now being forced apart is torturous.
People say "I could never do that". well, neither can we. But we don't have a choice so we deal with it. Other people say "I know how you feel. My husband has gone on business trips for x amount of time" You can know a tiny bit, but really not as much. Being gone for weeks at a time vs months at a time..... um, big difference. Much harder. My mom can't even bear to think about what it'd feel like to have my dad gone for 6 months to 2 years. It's just too much, ya know?
What gets me even more upset than anything is knowing there are people out there that do not apreciate or support our soldiers and families. It makes me SICK. How ungrateful and selfish and self-centered are these people!! Do you even realize the HUGE SACRIFICE our family is going through and other families like ours? Do you understand? Do you care? Are you capable of having feeling for someone else's situation besides your own?
Right now we both feel like there are some that are only thinking of how this is affecting them and not us. He feels slightly smothered. But meh, what can ya do, right?
So Tyler leaves today. He flies to VA, then from VA to Detroit, then Detroit to we think Tokyo for a gas-stop, then to Seoul Korea where he'll get a bus ticket for a 4 hour ride to Camp Carroll for inprocessing. We have no idea where he'll go after that and we have no idea if we'll get to come over later to join him or not.
You know, him doing this is better than serving a mission. 1. he's safer 2. he can use skype 3. he can use phones whenever not just twice a year 4. he can come home to visit 1-2 a year 5. he's getting paid for it. It's not worse than a mission as some seem to think lol.
Anyway, this time Tyler leaving is a lot harder than the first time. It's WAY harder. And it's making us both sick. I feel bad for both my girls and for us. Our situation isn't one that anybody can be jealous of, that's for sure, BUT, our marriage is soooo strong and our family so tight! The Lord has greatly blessed us and kept us and he's blessed our family with His Spirit and I KNOW that because of our obedience to Him that we've been blessed. It's almost as if God has been carrying us through all of this.
Honestly, we are not your average military family. It seems as if other military families handle this just fine and don't mind being apart so much. But with us it's pure torture and we hate every minute of it, BUT, we know it's right, we know it's what the Lord wants of us, of Tyler. So, we "go and do as the Lord doth command" (1 Nephi 3:7).
Please, if you will, pray that we'll be able to join Tyler in Korea soon! And pray that we're all kept safe and strong!
Thank you for all your support!
And thank you mom and dad for all the sacrifices you have made for us! For the money you've given us, the home to live in, the food, the spirituality we've needed, the support, and more. You haven't been intrusive or manipulative, you haven't been worrying about your feelings above ours, and you've been a huge blessing to us, being an answer to many prayers! I know Heavenly Father has blessed you for it and will continue to do so.
And thank you to our best friends who have stood by our side through it all! Through the ups and downs, and for your support and encouragement, for your listening ear and more.
And thanks to all other family and friends who have been here for us, supported us, blessed us, prayed for us, helped us, encouraged us, loved us both, accepted us both. You support me, you support Tyler and if you support Tyler you support me. We are ONE. :)
okay, now I better get off so I can supposedly and maybe get some sleep.
Thursday, July 29, 2010
I cannot wait to have my husband home again, with our family. It feels so unnatural to not have him with us as a family. The girls and I and he have all suffered being apart. I pray God allows us to be together for the next while, even if it's in Korea.
Anyway, my brother Erik wrote something a while ago that my sister Andrea came across and I really wanted to share it on here. It's profound, true, and I wish that not only would members really read this and understand it, but that other people of other faiths would, too.
For some strange reason, members/Mormons identify prosperity with righteousness. They want to prove they are righteous by being wealthy. This is a mistake. If anyone really believes that blessedness in its fullest sense can be measured in dollars and cents, he is wrong.
On the other hand, the promise remains true that if we keep the commandments of God, if we are generous, if we care about others, if we don't trust in riches, if we are willing to consecrate in spirit--eventually all we possess--then we will be magnified and will have sufficientfor our needs.
What you want is not always what you need.
So there ya go.
Now to get back to my many, huge chores. They sure feel mountainous right now.
I'm still praying for our family to be together in South Korea. I hope you guys are praying for us, too.
Saturday, July 24, 2010
The process to get my family ready for Korea has been an INSANE one! It's been very difficult!
If it wasn't for the surprise move to my mother's house then things wouldn't have been so hectic, stressful, and difficult.
The girls and I had FOURTEEN doctor visits in ONE WEEK. Let's see all of you do that, eh? hahaha. Okay I know many do this on a regular basis, but we're not used to it. Plus they weren't all in one place but all over Utah and Salt Lake counties. It was so crazy! There was tonz of paperwork. We had to fill out 3 forms plus a stack of more medical paperwork, plus get all our legal paperwork together, and I had to get signatures from all my doctors and notes, plus the dentist for all three of us.
I had a very tight deadline to get all of this done. Luckily all my doctors and the new dentist understood and put us top priority, and even then we still had a lot of hurrying-up and waiting to do (the Military's Motto: Hurry up and wait).
Meantime Tyler was doing his own running around at Fort Lee VA. He had appointments left and right, paperwork to fill out, and he had to completely rely on me to get my stuff done by a certain deadline and I had to rely on him for the same. Talk about a time-crunch!
During all of this we were moving the SAME TIME!!! Because I was not anticipating a move so soon nothing was packed or cleaned or ready to go, so I had a huge job to do. Thank Heavens I was blessed with a few angels who came and helped! Nancy Bentley and her daughter and sons, my relief society president Sis Nielson, my sweet sister Andrea Pearson, my sister-in-law Alicia Pearson, my best friend Kristen Lanier, another good friend Mollee Suafo'a, and my other sister-in-law Andrea K. Pearson, my mother Betty Pearson, (these last two watched my girls for hours!!!!), and my home-teachers, most of the Elder's Quorum, and other friends and family here and there. It was a huge blessing to receive all this help! If it wasn't for these people, and others, I would NOT have made it!!! Simply put. It would've been impossible. Of course I was still left with A LOT to do and it was overwhelming.
After the move I got sick and exhausted. I knew I would. I usually do after such stressful and difficult things that grind me to the bone.
On top of all of this Tyler got his orders to S. Korea. This has me TERRIFIED. Not because of any danger, because Korea is THE PLACE TO GO right now for families and soldiers alike (it's a HUGE blessing he got this!!!), but because being apart from Tyler has nearly been crippling for me. A few have called me weak. Well, that's their short-sightedness I think, and their "fault" for thinking that way. Tyler and I have a very good and close relationship. We have a different relationship. And being apart is NOT easy on either of us. NOT because of weakness, but because we are best friends with each other and we enjoy each other's company and we equally carry the yoke of our marriage and children and responsibilities. We build each other up and carry the other one if we're having a hard time.
The part that's the absolute most torturous for both of us is having the girls away from their father. They are DADDY'S GIRLS. He is VERY VERY good with children. Children naturally love him, trust him, and surround him. That's one that that attracted me to him from the beginning. He is my girls' life-line. It's not because he's done everything for them, but because he's done as much for them as I have. From what I've seen most fathers don't do this, unfortunately. Either because they cannot, or because they choose not. The latter is a very, very sad thing. Tyler chose to be close to his girls.
Anyway, right now we're WAITING and WAITING and WAITING and WAITING to hear if we get to accompany him to Korea!!! We've both been earnestly praying and fasting for this. It's a righteous desire, and very possible. So far we've had so many miracles along the way and we're praying for another miracle. We are really hoping all our family and friends will pray for this, too. Tyler will be a much happier and productive soldier, and safer, if his family is with him in a very family-friendly and safe place.
So right now I'm excited and also very hesitant about the Korea idea. If we get the YES I will be ECSTATIC and then I'll start the grieving process for leaving my friends and family behind for YEARS, but until then I'm walking around in this very frail bubble (as my family is coming to experience and realize this first-hand, sorry guys) until we can know what the final decision will be.
If anybody has any free time at all and a willing hand, PLEASE come visit me and my girls!! Please pray for us! Please help if you can/will! Don't be shy or hesitant. Trust me, GOD WILL BLESS YOU IF YOU DO, I know this!!!
Anyway, thanks to everyone who has been so helpful to us already! Even if you might not like me very much, if you're helping me you're helping our CHILDREN and TYLER and GOD.
And please, if you feel like being calloused toward me then pray for understanding and compassion and charity. And pray for our family to stay together!!
And thank you for reading this entire novel! hahaha!!
If you are in Korea or moving there or have lived there please write me! I want to know everything possible about that place, AND, if there's anything else I/we can do to ensure us traveling WITH Tyler to Korea and living there with him!!
Thank you all!!!